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December 2011 | e-Newsletter Subscribe to The Timesheet's RSS feed

In this Issue

  1. Answers to your holiday gift-giving questions (or Everything you've always wanted to know about The Billable Hour Company's shipping policies but were afraid to ask)
  2. Feature Article: The Gift of Permission
  3. Cartoon: Stu's Views
  4. Cartoon: Courtoons
  5. Video of the Month: UNC Law Revue 2011: "Jurisdiction" Song
  6. Cartoon: Lawtoons
  7. Song of the Month: I Dreamed I Saw Santa Workin' in the Library
  8. Cartoon: Law and Disorder
  9. Cartoon: Jonny Hawkins Collection
  10. Cartoon: Juris Comic
  11. Daily Legal Toon

Answers to your holiday gift-giving questions (or Everything you've always wanted to know about The Billable Hour Company's shipping policies but were afraid to ask)
We want to make your holiday shopping experience as simple as possible. With this goal in mind, here are the answers to some frequently asked questions about shopping—and shipping—with The Billable Hour Company:

How soon after I place an online order is my order shipped?
All orders placed before noon (Eastern time) Monday through Friday will be shipped the same day; orders placed after noon Monday through Friday are shipped the next business day. Orders placed on weekends and holidays are shipped the next business day.

What shipping options do you offer?
UPS Ground (delivery in 1-5 business days) is the default U.S. shipping method. We also offer UPS Next Day Air Saver (delivery by the end of the next business day), Second Day Air (delivery by the end of the second business day), and 3 Day Select (delivery by the end of the third business day). As you can see from the map below, packages shipped via UPS Ground from our warehouse in Terre Haute, Indiana are delivered to most U.S. locations in three days or less.

UPS Map

Are item prices printed on your packing slips?
You can feel comfortable having your gifts shipped directly to the recipients; there are no prices on our packing slips.

What is the deadline for placing an order to make sure that it arrives before Christmas?
Since we're lawyers, we have a very lawyer-like answer to that question: "it depends." The absolute latest you can order a gift to ensure delivery before Christmas via UPS Next Day Air is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Thursday, December 22. The deadline for delivery via UPS Second Day Air is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Wednesday, December 21, and the deadline for UPS 3-Day Select is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Tuesday, December 20.

Deadlines for delivery before Christmas for packages shipped via UPS Ground (the most cost-effective shipping option) vary. Orders shipped to the Midwest and most of the East Coast should be placed by 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Wednesday, December 21 to ensure Christmas delivery. If your order will be shipped to the plains states, Florida or the Northeast, make sure you order by 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Tuesday, December 20. If your gift is going to most of the western third of the country, plan on ordering by 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Monday, December 19. Finally, if your gift is going to Hawaii or Puerto Rico, the deadline is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Friday, December 16.

To figure out how quickly a package will arrive at your shipping address, please consult the map above.

I've missed the shipping deadlines. Do you offer gift certificates?
Of course! Billable Hour Company Gift certificates are the perfect solution when you just can't find the right gift or you're short on time.

You can purchase a Billable Hour Company Gift Certificate in any amount (minimum $10).Unlike some gift cards, gift certificates from The Billable Hour Company never expire, and there are no hidden fees that erode the value of the gift certificate.

When you purchase a gift certificate, the recipient receives an e-mail with your personal message, a unique gift certificate identification number, and instructions about how to redeem the gift certificate. You automatically receive a copy of this e-mail.

If you prefer to print the gift certificate and deliver it by hand, you can have the gift certificate e-mailed to you instead. You can even have the gift certificate mailed to the recipient.

Gift certificates are valid on all of our gift items. However, they are not valid in our card store.

To order a Billable Hour Company Gift Certificate, go to www.TheBillableHour.com/xcart/giftcert.php

Do you ship orders outside the U.S.?
We sure do! USPS Priority Mail International (delivery in 6-10 days) is the default shipping method for orders shipped outside the U.S.method. We also offer USPS Express Mail International (delivery in 3-5 days) and USPS First Class Mail International (for orders up to 4 lbs; delivery times vary). If you have entered a shipping address outside the U.S. at Step 1 of Checkout, you will be offered only the international shipping options at Step 2 of Checkout.

Talking about shipping, check out our free shipping holiday special:

holiday shipping special

Feature Article: The Gift of Permission
by Barbara Nelson
How did it get so late so soon?
Its night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss

Crikey! Truly, "so late so soon" defines this time of year. December is full of deadlines. Things you wanted to get done before the end of the year, things you have to get done before the end of the year, before a holiday, before it's too late. Enough to take all the merry happy out of the month!

As a contrarian, I’d like to give you a gift instead of a deadline. It’s called "permission," and (this is the tricky part) you actually have to give it to yourself. Yup. No colored parts and pieces, but this is a gift that requires instructions.

One definition of "permission" is "approval to do something." Approval to "not" do something is also a type of permission. See where we’re heading? Have you ever heard "get out of your own way"? That’s what "permission" is about. To use this gift, the first thing to do is look for one that works for you. Without calling you crazy, I’m going to ask you to listen for the unhelpful voices in your head. That’s where you discover the permission that will work for you. Instead of offering a lot of examples of negative self-talk, I’ll just give you some of my favorite permissions, and you’ll get the idea.

Permissions to try on:

And that’s it. Choose one or create your own. Once you have it, write it down. Read it every morning. Remind yourself of it when you find yourself hesitating or "stuck." If you find you don't need the one you start with, choose another. Permission is the gift that keeps on giving. Lucky you!

I first learned about the notion of "permission" in life coach training; it's a concept that’s been proven over time. The marketing seminar I offer, CJ Hayden's Get Clients Now!®, asks you to record whether you give yourself your permission on the daily marketing scorecard. Feedback from clients constantly reinforces how powerful the simple act of giving yourself daily permission is.

I misled you. I'm not giving you a gift: you have to give it to yourself. The good news is that it's free, it's immediate, no downloading required! Might be the best gift you receive all year.

Warmest wishes for December, along with full, unqualified permission to have the best year ever in 2012!

Barbara Nelson is a business coach who helps lawyers take action to get what they want at the same time they learn to enjoy the journey. She blogs at http://www.SuccessfullySolo.com/blog. You can reach her at barbara@successfullysolo.com.

Barbara Nelson

Cartoon: Stu's Views
by Stu Rees
Merry Christmas Santa Pony
Toys Not Miracles The Right Card
Elf Work New Year Guaranty

All images ©Stu Rees. All rights reserved.

Did you know that Stu licenses his artwork for use in newsletters, presentations, print publications and on websites? He even offers special rates for student and teacher use.

You can also purchase original artwork and custom prints (framed or unframed) from Stu.

Timesheet readers get 15% off all licensing orders, original artwork and custom prints (use coupon code BILLHOUR). Click here for information on licensing or purchasing any of Stu's holiday cartoons, or any of the hundreds of images Stu offers. For more information on original artwork and custom prints, click here.

Cartoon: Courtoons
by David Mills

Lawyer Holiday Cards

Courtoons are the creation of David Mills, an Ohio appellate lawyer who works with litigants and law firms involved in civil and criminal cases in federal courts across the country. Visit David's law firm website at www.MillsFederalAppeals.com

David Mills
Video of the Month: UNC Law Revue 2011: "Jurisdiction" Song

Lyrics:

Speaking: Federalism. Sounds crazy, no? But here in our great country of the United States, every single state exercises its sovereignty like a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy, as we lawyers know, especially with our judicial branch. You may ask, why keep this crazy system between federal courts and state courts? We keep it because America is our home. And, aside from allowing slavery and excluding women from voting, our Founding Fathers were very perceptive people. And how do we keep a balance with what kinds of cases federal courts can hear? That I can tell you in one word: jurisdiction!

CHORUS:

Jurisdiction, jurisdiction! Jurisdiction!
Jurisdiction, jurisdiction! Jurisdiction!

Speaking: Because of jurisdiction, we have kept our balance for many, many years. We also have procedural rules for everything. For instance, here in my rural town of [Hicksville] you must always come to court with your shirt on. You may ask, how did this rule start? Well, I'll tell you...I dunno. But because of our traditions, everyone knows how to behave, and what the law expects him to do...That is, until five justices on the Supreme Court overrule 100 years of precedent. Ah, well. Back to jurisdiction!

GRP 1:

Ask where did the cause of action first take place,
Property involved, parties do reside?
Though you could always try, to file for a transfer
Under fourteen ze-ro-four.

The Venue, the Venue! Jurisdiction.
The Venue, the Venue! Jurisdiction.

GRP 2:

Can our case be heard under diversity,
how 'bout federal question?
If not, then we need a common nucleus
of op'rative fact that is supplemental.

Subject-matter, subject-matter! Jurisdiction!
Subject-matter, subject-matter! Jurisdiction!

GRP 3:

At three I moved to Chapel Hill, at ten I joined some clubs,
But still I am a domicle. Of—New Jersey. (ew)
We came to Florida to sign all our contracts,
But does that qualify under minimum contacts?

It's the Personal, the personal! Jurisdiction!
It's the Personal, the personal! Jurisdiction!

Speaking: Venue, subject-matter and personal jurisdiction. If you think that was compliacted, just waitt until we need to determine who has the BURDEN OF THE PROOF!

[ALL]

JURISDICTION!

To watch more hilarious law-related videos from around the web, join us at The Video Venue!

Lawtoons
by Suzan Charlton, Esq.

Still More Weird Law Words

©Suzan Charlton. All rights reserved.

Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.

Song of the Month: I Dreamed I Saw Santa Workin' in the Library
by Lawrence Savell

(sample)
Available on
The Lawyer's Holiday Humor Album

I was workin' in the library at Chadbourne & Parke
On December 24, it was way past dark
Writin' up a brief, that's how I make my living
But then again this one had been due back on Thanksgiving
Below my window tourists yelled with glee
Like a bunch of anxious dogs lookin' for that special tree
I was sittin' in the back of the New York section
Like the West books I was up to my Supp. second
Between the Gilberts and the Nutshells piled next to me
Was some moo shu and a ham on rye from Carnegie
I must have dozed from the load I ate
'Cause what happened after that I'm afraid to relate.

I dreamed I saw Santa in the pale moonlight
Workin' on a memo in his red pinstripes
My Yuppie life-style took its toll on me
'Cause I dreamed I saw Santa workin' in the library.

I must have woke up when my head hit the wall
So I reached for a handful of my Tylenol
But I heard a funny sound from near the Tax CCH
So I bravely got up and went to investigate
I saw him reading a list of names in blue
He said "Son, I'm just doing my annual review."

I saw Santa in the pale moonlight
Workin' on a memo in his red pinstripes
My Yuppie life-style took its toll on me
'Cause I thought I saw Santa workin' in the library.

So I said "Tell me Santa, from your legal pad"
"In past fiscal year was I good or bad?"
He turned to his list and said "You're in a fix"
"It says here that one Thursday you left at six"
He said "I'm sorry but que sera sera"
"I gave your bonus to a seventh-year at Skadden Arps."

I saw Santa in the pale moonlight
Workin' on a memo in his red pinstripes
My Yuppie life-style took its toll on me
'Cause I thought I saw Santa workin' in the library.

I thought I saw Santa in the pale moonlight
Workin' on a memo in his red pinstripes
My Yuppie life-style took its toll on me
'Cause I thought I saw Santa workin' in the library.

Then he packed up his papers in a red lit bag
And he filled out a voucher to Dial-A-Stag
And he faded off downtown and out of sight
Yelling "Merry billings to all and to all a good night"
I woke up that morning and to my dismay
Under my tree was fifty copies of my resume.

I saw Santa in the pale moonlight
Workin' on a memo in his red pinstripes
My Yuppie life-style took its toll on me
'Cause I dreamed I saw Santa workin' in the library.

Just one of the hilarious songs on
The Lawyer's Holiday Humor Alhum

Cartoon: Law and Disorder
by Paul Brennan

Mother Christmas

Cartoon: Jonny Hawkins Collection
by Jonny Hawkins

Demon Possessed
©Jonny Hawkins. All rights reserved.

Did you know that Jonny licenses his artwork for use in newsletters, presentations, print publications and on websites? He even offers special rates for student and teacher use.

You can also purchase original artwork and custom prints (framed or unframed) from Jonny.

Timesheet readers get 15% off all licensing orders, original artwork and custom prints. Click here for pricing information. You can reach Jonny at jonnyhawkins2nz@yahoo.com.

Juris Comic

Daily Legal Toon

Daily Toon Click to enlarge
ANDERTOONS.COM LAWYER CARTOONSLawyer Cartoonsby Andertoons



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