December 2009 | e-Newsletter

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In this Issue

Answers to your holiday gift-giving questions (or "Everything you've always wanted to know about The Billable Hour Company's shipping policies but were afraid to ask") Feature Article: Don't Blow It! Cartoon: Stu's Views Cartoon: Courtoons Greetings from TBH: Introducing our Hanukkah Card Collection Video of the Month: The Two Ronnies Courtroom Gameshow Cartoon: Lawtoons Song of the Month: Santa v. Acme Sleigh Cartoon: Law and Disorder Cartoon: Juris Comic Litination: Law Firm's Libraries To Become Museums Daily Legal Toon

Answers to your holiday gift-giving questions (or "Everything you've always wanted to know about The Billable Hour Company's shipping policies but were afraid to ask")

We want to make your holiday shopping experience as simple as possible. With this goal in mind, here are the answers to some frequently asked questions about shopping—and shipping—with The Billable Hour Company:

How soon after I place an online order is my order shipped?
All orders placed before noon (Eastern time) Monday through Friday will be shipped the same day; orders placed after noon Monday through Friday are shipped the next business day. Orders placed on weekends and holidays are shipped the next business day.

What shipping options do you offer?
UPS Ground (delivery in 1-5 business days) is the default U.S. shipping method. We also offer UPS Next Day Air Saver (delivery by the end of the next business day), Second Day Air (delivery by the end of the second business day), and 3 Day Select (delivery by the end of the third business day). As you can see from the map below, packages shipped via UPS Ground from our warehouse in Terre Haute, Indiana are delivered to most U.S. locations in three days or less.

To order a Billable Hour Company Gift Certificate, go to www.TheBillableHour.com/xcart/giftcert.php

Do you ship orders outside the U.S.?
We sure do! USPS Priority Mail International (delivery in 6-10 days) is the default shipping method for orders shipped outside the U.S.method. We also offer USPS Express Mail International (delivery in 3-5 days) and USPS First Class Mail International (for orders up to 4 lbs; delivery times vary). If you have entered a shipping address outside the U.S. at Step 1 of Checkout, you will be offered only the international shipping options at Step 2 of Checkout.

Talking about shipping, check out our free shipping holiday special:

Feature Article: Don't Blow It! by Julie A. Fleming

Lawyers who are or aspire to be leaders must learn to self-manage, especially when stressed or under pressure (and who isn’t, at least part of the time?). It’s easy to let self-management slide in the face of provocation. Some attorneys I know offer a blanket apology to staff and colleagues—something like, "I’m feeling stressed, so please excuse me if I blow up or yell at you or throw things, ok?" I don’t recommend that approach; it’s better than nothing, I suppose, but it’s actually announcing that bad behavior is coming, apparently largely unchecked.

Let’s be real: attorneys are often faced with statements, actions, arguments, behavior, etc. that is galling in the extreme. It’s a common practice among some litigators to find their opponents’ hot buttons; push the button and out pops an ugly intemperate person—not someone a jury would respect or believe. (Same goes for witnesses, too, and in non-litigation contexts.) So how can you handle it when faced with provocation that would make the Buddha quiver with rage?

1. Keep your attention on the motivation behind the provocation. Is the person who’s enraging you doing it intentionally, or is it a by-product of words or behavior that he likely thinks perfectly appropriate? If it’s the former, don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he succeeded. If it’s the latter, consider whether displaying annoyance would stop the behavior or simply let your opponent know that he’s found a soft spot.

2. Breath. This is great advice for just about any situation, but it’s especially good for dealing with anger. You can react, which implies knee-jerk emotional feedback made without any reflection, or you can respond, which implies feedback that follows a pause and analysis/reflection to determine the best way to address the provocation. It’s far better to respond than to react. There’s no reason why you can’t fall silent for a few seconds (which may feel interminable to you and your opponent) while you work through your options.

3. Speak softly. Most of us tend to raise our voices when we speak in anger. Therefore, it’s disarming to do the opposite and to speak more quietly. The effect is to appear reasonable and controlled (especially helpful if your opponent is ranting and raving and seemingly out of control) and to force your opponent to listen carefully to hear what you have to say. I’ve been told that in Japanese culture, when two parties are arguing, the one who raises her voice first loses. It’s a difficult tactic for many of us to master, but if you can speak softly in the face of provocation, you will stand a much better chance of controlling your anger.

4. Vent. Express your anger in some forum that poses no risk of exposing it. Writing can be helpful, but especially if you write an angry response to an email, be sure that you don’t accidentally send it!

5. Exercise. That’s physical venting. When feasible, get up and take a walk instead of marinating in a situation that makes you angry.

6. Selective release of anger. Sometimes, it’s absolutely appropriate to express your anger at the person whose behavior has caused it. But consider the consequences of such an expression. Will you disrupt the relationship? Do you stand to lose ground? Will your expressed anger cause the person to react in a way that will cause you even more trouble? And when you do choose to display anger, consider doing so through your words only but continuing to speak in a low, even tone of voice. That will reinforce the gravity of your words.

Cartoon: Stu's Views by Stu Rees

©Stu Rees. All rights reserved.

Questions about ordering greeting cards from The Billable Hour Card Store? Check out our greeting card FAQs.

Did you know that Stu licenses his artwork for use in newsletters, presentations, print publications and on websites? He even offers special rates for student and teacher use.

You can also purchase original artwork and custom prints (framed or unframed) from Stu.

Timesheet readers get 15% off all licensing orders, original artwork and custom prints (use coupon code BILLHOUR). Click here for information on licensing or purchasing Discount Lawyer, other criminal law cartoons, or any of the hundreds of images Stu offers. For more information on original artwork and custom prints, click here.

Cartoon: Courtoons by David Mills

Courtoons are the creation of David Mills, an Ohio appellate lawyer who works with litigants and law firms involved in civil and criminal cases in federal courts across the country. Visit David's law firm website at www.MillsFederalAppeals.com

Greetings from TBH: Introducing our Hanukkah Card Collection

In October, our Greetings from TBH column featured our legal humor holiday cards; last month, we shared some of our favorite traditional cards. But one thing was missing: Hanukkah cards.

No longer. We're thrilled to introduce our Hanukkah card collection. Here are some of our favorite Hanukkah cards:

You still have a few weeks to get your Hanukkah cards out: this year, the holiday starts the evening of December 11.

Video of the Month: The Two Ronnies Courtroom Gameshow

To watch more hilarious law-related videos from around the web, join us at The Video Venue!

Lawtoons by Suzan Charlton, Esq.

©Suzan Charlton. All rights reserved.

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.

Song of the Month: Santa v. Acme Sleigh by Lawrence Savell

It was a cold night in late December
Snow was falling down, as I remember
The senior partner came through my office door
Handed me a file as he laughed with a roar
"We've got a new client in the vehicle biz
With a lawsuit that says defective was his
The trial starts tomorrow in a northern state
And you're lead counsel so you better not delay"
I looked at the file and to my surprise
The plaintiff was someone I recognized.

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight
The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

I walked into the courtroom as the clerk said "All rise"
Then in came the judge looking somber and wise
"Please proceed, Mr. Claus, as I've agreed to allow"
Santa gathered some papers and gave all a quick bow
"Kind jurors," he said, "the evidence it will show
That the sleigh made by Acme, it just wouldn't go
And consequentially damaged all the girls and the boys
Who belatedly received their holiday toys."
He set forth his claim and with humor besides
"Perhaps we should settle," my client I advised.

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight
The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

I made a motion to bring the trial to a halt
That one of Santa's helpers was instead at fault
The judge rejected my argument as without sense
"In this jurisdiction you can't plead elf defense."
"It was light, it was dark, it was God" I then blamed
But all my defenses ended up just the same
The judge had one reply to all of my rants
"No summary judgment in winter will I grant."
Santa's closing was masterful, the jury wide-eyed
"I really think we should settle," my client I advised.

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight
The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

The judge said to the jury "It's your turn to decide
If Acme Sleigh acted either naughty or nice
He told them the law that they were to apply
And to retire until their verdict was nigh
But before they could go I made one final plea
That the jurors place some mistletoe above their box seats
The Court said "Okay" and they did as I asked
Then I made one final motion the Court had to grant.
"With the mistletoe fastened as they have all done
This jury now constitutes one that has hung."

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight
The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

Cartoon: Law and Disorder by Paul Brennan

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Juris Comic

Litination: Law Firm's Libraries To Become Museums by Court Jester

“The creative law firm will emerge the successful law firm.” Such were the words chosen by Latham & Watkins LLP’s managing partner Charles “Chip” Phillips earlier this week when he announced the megafirm’s plans to revamp its office libraries into modern day legal museums. Latham plans to transform these often unused spaces into exhibit halls that will “celebrate the old-fashioned practice of law that existed before the dawn of the digital age.”

“Most law firms don’t have a plan for what to do with the mountains of books and journals that they have compiled over the years,” explained Phillips. “We decided to turn this challenge into an opportunity to bring clients from all walks of life to our offices to see the way law was practiced in eras gone by.” Latham plans to make its museums an interactive experience. For example, Westlaw and LexisNexis have signed up to provide a “hands-on exhibit” where visitors will be timed on how long it takes them to find a case supporting an argument in “the books” versus an online search. A display called “Getting a Little Dewey Eyed” will reflect on how the Dewey Decimal system helped spark the growth of the legal industry. And visitors will have the opportunity to sit in chairs and flip through legal treatises like attorneys did before becoming latched to a keyboard and monitor.

Latham currently plans to offer existing and prospective clients free tours while charging the public $5 per person to take a walk through the firm’s former library space. The hope is that the entry fee for visitors and general donations will help cover the operating costs of these legal library museums. The firm is also considering allowing individuals to check out books like an actual library with the hopes that when they go home and read through a particular treatise they might spot a legal issue they have and then come back to the firm to request legal assistance.

Library staff will receive training in museum operations and tour guidance before this transition is finalized. “You know how much everyone’s enjoying that TV show ‘Mad Men’ on AMC?” explained an over-excited Chip Phillips. “Well, that made it clear to us that the past is important. We want to keep the memory of the golden legal ages alive. In fact, we might even have to double our library, I mean museum, staff. The folks we have aren't exactly used to putting in a full day, if you know what I mean.”

Despite Phillips' obvious enthusiasm, it still remains to be seen whether other firms will follow Latham's approach to creative use of useless office space.

Court Jester is a member of the Litination who believes that the practice of law requires a sense of humor. His goal is to provide an entertaining diversion from the regularly scheduled billable hour or law school seminar. He provides fake legal news and links to real headlines at www.Litination.com. His hope is that one or the other will provide you with a laugh in an often unnecessarily stressful day.

Daily Legal Toon Daily Toon Click to enlarge Lawyer Cartoonsby Andertoons