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As the calendar moves inexorably forward towards Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Year's, lawyers' thoughts turn to sending out holiday greeting cards. Here are the answers to some common questions about ordering from The Billable Hour Card Store.
What kinds of cards do you carry?
The Billable Hour Card Store features over 200 humorous law-related greeting cards, covering a wide range of topics. We also carry a large selection of more "traditional" greeting cards for the holiday season with images of snowflakes, ornaments, menorahs, Christmas trees and the like.
Our humorous legal cards are organized by occasion, practice area, topic, intended recipient (lawyers, judges, law students, court reporters and paralegals) and collection. All of our traditional cards are under the Especially For>Clients category; the category is further subdivided by occasion. So, even though there are hundreds of cards to choose from, the clear organization of cards on the website lets you quickly find the cards that are just right for you.
Are these e-cards or real paper cards?
Our cards are not e-cards: they are printed cards on 5"x7" heavy glossy stock. The store uses print-on-demand technology that allows you to send highly personalized cards to your clients, colleagues, prospects and friends.
How much do the cards cost?
Single cards are $2.99 each, and bulk discounts are available for purchases of 10 cards or more. Here is the bulk pricing chart:
| Quantity | Price Per Card | Discount $ | Discount % |
| 1-9 | $2.99 | $0.00 | 0% |
| 10-19 | $2.70 | $0.29 | 10% |
| 20-49 | $2.54 | $0.45 | 15% |
| 50-99 | $2.24 | $0.75 | 25% |
| 100-199 | $1.94 | $1.05 | 35% |
| 200-499 | $1.79 | $1.20 | 40% |
| 500+ | $1.64 | $1.35 | 45% |
Remember, the bulk discount is based on the total number of cards in your cart. So, for example, if you want to order 50 cards in one design, and your partner wants to order 50 cards in a different design, you will be entitled to the discount applicable to 100 cards (as long as all the cards are in the shopping cart at the time of checkout). Therefore, each card in your order would be priced at $1.94.
Sales tax is added for California orders only.
How does the ordering process work?
Creating a customized card is easy. At each stage, you can preview the card on the screen before proceeding.
First, choose your cover image.
Next, personalize your card. You can include any message at all on the inside of the card (or you can leave the inside blank). There are eight different fonts and 131 ink colors to choose from. (View some suggested holiday verses)
You can also upload a signature or logo to appear underneath the message. To make the card even more personal, you may even upload a photograph, which will be printed on the card’s inside left panel. There is no additional charge for these features, which are completely optional.
Can you mail my cards directly to the recipients?
Yes! Forget running envelopes through your printer or peeling hundreds of labels from their backing: when you order from The Billable Hour Card Store, you can have your cards mailed directly to the recipients (U.S. destinations only) on the date of your choice. Envelopes are stamped, not metered. Your own return address appears on cards mailed directly to the recipient: in effect, you receive free envelope imprinting. Addresses can be uploaded from Microsoft Outlook as well as other CRM programs.
Of course, if you prefer to hand-sign your cards, you can have the cards shipped to you, along with blank envelopes.
Remember, both Thanksgiving and Hanukkah are early this year: Thanksgiving is on November 22, while the first night of Hanukkah is December 4—less than a month away. Don't delay: visit The Billable Hour Card Store now.
©Dan Rosandich. All rights reserved.
Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.
Special Poetry Supplement: A Lawyer's Psalm
by Marc S. Stern
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The law is my Shepherd;
I shall not lose.
It causeth me to collect fees, in advance.
It Restoreth my bank balance.
It leadeth me to victory and to wealth.
Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of malpractice
I shall fear no judgment;
For my premiums are paid.
Thy Statute and Thy reporter;
They comfort me.
Thou causeth me to prepare a settlement conference,
In the presence of mine opposition.
Thou restoreth me to solvency.
Surely victory and paying clients shall follow me all the days of my practice;
And I shall dwell in the Temple of Justice, forever.
©Marc S. Stern 1987. All rights reserved.
Marc S. Stern is a solo practitioner in Seattle, Washington who practices in the areas of bankruptcy and insolvency, commercial litigation, collections, entity formation, general business law and real estate. His website is at www.hutzbahlaw.com.
Lawtoons
by Suzan Charlton, Esq.
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Click here to enlarge
©Suzan Charlton. All rights reserved.
Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.
By this Friday, we'll have 12 more Lawtoons cards—all in color—available in The Billable Hour Card Store.
Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.
Song of the Month: A Million Christmas Trees
by Lawrence Savell
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(sample)
Available on Legal Holidaze
Well I went to law school many years ago
To be like Perry Mason on that TV show
The king of the courtroom, the duke of depo
These were my dreams but what the heck did I know.
But real law practice is a whole different thing
They sit you in a conference room and cartons they bring
Responding to discovery, well that's what I do
Subject to your objections, got some answers for you.
Is it responsive: Well Baby, you tell me
Confidential: That's between you and me
Is it a privilege: Well it is to me
'Cause I've got more paper than A Million Christmas Trees.
Life is a production in more ways than one
Rule thirty-four means twenty-four hours of fun
One broad request interpreted literally
Calls for every document since Code of Hammurabi.
Run some foil through the shredder and tinsel we'll make
Redact that frown, insert a smile in its place
You've got my Bates number Baby, but before you proceed
A few interrogatory answers I need.
Is it responsive: Well Baby, you tell me
Confidential: That's between you and me
Is it a privilege: Well it is to me
'Cause I've got more paper than A Million Christmas Trees.
I'm compelled to admit some people think I'm nuts
I wear rubber fingertips, show off paper cuts
But while they search for a sweetie in the snow and sleet
I'm warm and toasty here between my sheets.
Is it responsive: Well Baby, you tell me
Confidential: That's between you and me
Is it a privilege: Well it is to me
'Cause I've got more paper than A Million Christmas Trees.
Just one of the hilarious songs on
Poeticus Lex: CLE-verness
by Fred C. Russcol, Esq.
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One thing very dear to me
Is mandatory CLE,
Where I can meet some friends and schmooze
(Or maybe catch a welcome snooze)
And bring my knowledge up to date
On legal themes in New York State,
From real estate, to tax, to torts,
Or ethics points of varied sorts.
The classes oft include a meal,
A major source of their appeal
(Review of lawyers’ shapes will tell
That most are fed extremely well;)
Up front’s the lecturing volunteer,
The smorgasbord is in the rear;
Guess which area gets more
Attention from the hungry corps?
A busy lecturer agrees
To share his views and expertise
Not only to inform the mass
That shows up for his lecture class,
But hoping that we’ll have the grace
To refer to him a juicy case
In the area his lecture’s shown
Needs skill and craft we do not own.
Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in White Plains, New York. This poem was originally printed in the Westchester Bar Journal and is reprinted with the permission of the Westchester County Bar Association.
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