| May 2009 | e-Newsletter |
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Funniest Lawyer in New York Comedy Contest: Come to Perform or to See the Show
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Times are tough . . . either you're slaving away at your day job, or your degree is quietly wasting away while you watch reruns of "what not to wear" all day!
There's got to be something funny about that.
Right now, lawyer and comedienne Michelle Dobrawski is seeking all kinds of folks currently (or formerly) in the legal profession to particpate in "Don't Quit your Day Job!" - a comedy contest of extraordinary proportions!
The show will be on Monday, May 18 at 7 p.m. at Broadway Comedy Club, 318 W. 53rd St (between 8th and 9th) in New York City.
If you want to perform, you need to have 5-6 minutes of material and a minimum of five guests. No prior comedy experience necessary, and there will be prizes!
Or just come by and see the show. There's a $10 cover charge and a two drink minimum.
If you're interested in participating or have any questions, e-mail Michelle at lawyershow@michelledobrawsky.com. Performing spots are limited, so contact Michelle right away.
If you can't make this one but want to do future shows, please sign up anyway.
Feature Article: "I Hate Being a Lawyer!"
by Julie A. Fleming
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When I review the searches that lead people to my blog, I all too frequently find some version of, “I hate being a lawyer.” Often I shrug and move on without much thought, but seeing the search last weekend took me down a different line of thought.
Is this really true for the searcher?
Maybe it is. If so, I empathize. Although I’ve never hated practicing law, I’ve (briefly) had jobs I hated and sometimes had to do tasks I hated even in jobs I loved. It’s painful to hate something that consumes the bulk of one’s conscious hours, and change is in order—pronto.
More likely, though, it’s not entirely true, though there’s some part of the statement that is true. So, the key is to determine which of two aspects (and perhaps more) is untrue. (And for here on out, I’m addressing the “you” who agree with the search statement.)
1. "I hate being a lawyer." What does it mean to you to “be a lawyer?” How do you interpret that identity, and what do you dislike about it? Is there a way to reshape “being a lawyer” so that it’s more acceptable? Is it different to “be someone who practices law” than to “be a lawyer”? This is a rich area for exploration.
2. "I hate practicing law." This is what I suspect the search is really all about. But again, is this entirely true? Is there some part of practice you enjoy? Maybe you really like research and writing but hate dealing with clients—or vice versa. Maybe you enjoy the puzzle of tax law but not the clients you represent. Maybe you want to be on your feet and out of the office more than anything. Finding the parts of practice that you do like is the key step toward a situation that’s a good fit for you. This is another area rich for investigation.
Although happy lawyers explain the source of their happiness in many different ways, the common denominator seems to be that they connect what they enjoy to what they do on a regular basis in practice. I don’t imagine that any lawyer or any person likes every single professional task undertaken, but there’s a tipping point, and those who stay above that point tend to self-identify as happy. I’ve also observed that happy lawyers connect with a sense of fulfillment or a belief that what they’re doing matters.
The bottom line, of course, is that making the statement “I hate being a lawyer” calls for some kind of action. Maybe the action is a job/career change, or maybe it’s analysis to identify what changes would negate that statement (partly or completely) and making those changes.
So, searcher, you “hate being a lawyer.” What will you choose to do about it?
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Julie A. Fleming, J.D., A.C.C. provides attorney development coaching and consulting to law firm associates and partners, focusing on topics such as leadership, client, and professional development; career strategy; and work/life integration. A certified leadership coach (Georgetown University), Julie publishes the weekly email newsletter Leadership Matters for Lawyers and posts often on the Life at the Bar Blog. Learn more at www.LifeAtTheBar.com or by contacting Julie by telephone at 800.758.6214 or by email to jfb@lifeatthebar.com.
If constantly feeling overwhelmed is keeping you from being happy as a lawyer, join Julie Fleming and The Billable Hour Company partner Lisa Solomon for a May 21 teleseminar about the Five Foundations of Time Mastery for Lawyers.
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Cartoon: Stu's Views
by Stu Rees
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©Stu Rees. All rights reserved.
Questions about ordering greeting cards from The Billable Hour Card Store? Check out our greeting card FAQs.
Did you know that Stu also licenses his artwork for use in newsletters, presentations, print publications and on websites? He even offers special rates for student and teacher use.
You can also purchase original artwork and custom prints (framed or unframed) from Stu.
Timesheet readers get 15% off all licensing orders, original artwork and custom prints (use coupon code BILLHOUR). Click here for information on licensing or purchasing Stressful Law School, any of Stu's other law school cartoons, or any of the hundreds of images Stu offers. For more information on original artwork and custom prints, click here.
Cartoon: Courtoons
by David Mills
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Courtoons are the creation of David Mills, an Ohio appellate lawyer who works with litigants and law firms involved in civil and criminal cases in federal courts across the country. Visit David's law firm website at www.MillsFederalAppeals.com
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Losing Friends and Suing People
by Paul Brennan
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Things have got so bad that even the customers who never pay are not ordering anything.
Customers who have become your friends over the years are finding it difficult to pay.
Your debt collection machine turns from stickers, to letters, to telephone calls, all to no avail. Finally you challenge them and they say that your service is lousy and products are not up to standard.
Outraged, you get legal. A lawyer’s letter is sent, your friends eventually pay and the relationship is lost.
Before you approach your lawyer, sit your friend down and have a frank discussion. Admit that you are only pressing them so hard because you are desperate for the money. They may admit that their real reason for not paying is that they do not have it. Even if they do not wish to lose face you may say that you understand that business is hard in this downturn, that you have been friends for many years and how much you regret this situation.
Then you sue them. As the Mafia say "its business, nothing personal."
In bad times excuses for delayed or non-payment such as sick mothers, shoeless children or useless spouse do not work as your creditors are desperate for the money.
The best approach with any creditor (assuming that you owe the money) including old friends will be to convince the creditor that you cannot pay. First try listing your assets and liabilities then try offering a small amount per month to each creditor.
This "open kimono" approach can be very effective. A look at most people’s assets and liabilities is a scary experience, especially when they owe you money.
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Paul Brennan is a legal cartoonist, author and speaker. He is the author of We Have the Time if You Have the Money: How to Promote Your Legal Practice, A Legal Guide to Dying: Baby Boomer Edition, The 10 Greatest Legal Mistakes in Business . . . and How to Avoid Them, and The Law is an Ass—Make Sure it Doesn’t Bite Yours, which are intended for a worldwide audience. He blogs at www.101reasonstokillallthelawyers.com. In his day job, he is the principal of Brennans Solicitors, a law firm located in Mooloolaba, a Queensland, Australia seaside town, where he practices in the areas of business law (including franchising), intellectual property, trusts and estates, immigration and real estate. For more information on booking Paul as a speaker, visit www.lawanddisorder.com.au. |
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Video of the Month: Marcus Brigstocke - Litigation Culture
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Here's a little something to get you warmed up for the Funniest Lawyer in New York Comedy Contest:
To watch more hilarious law-related videos from around the web, join us at The Video Venue!
Lawtoons
by Suzan Charlton, Esq.
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click here to enlarge (large file; please be patient)
©Suzan Charlton. All rights reserved.
Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.
Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.
Song of the Month: Make Up Your Mind
by The Bar and Grill Singers
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(sample)
Available on Licensed to Grill
Tell me what I must do, please Your Honor
I only want you to rule, please Your Honor
It’s yes or no; gotta be this or that
If you ain’t wrong, you’re right
If it ain’t black, it’s white
If you ain’t sure you might
gotta be this or that
If it ain’t in, it’s out
If it ain’t clear, there’s doubt
If you can’t hear, we'll shout!
Gotta be this or that
What can it be, if it ain’t free
Of prejudicial error?
Can’t you see, it’s gotta be
One way or the other?
Tell me what I must do
Just to get you to rule
Time doesn’t stop for you
Gotta be this or that
Granted, denied, yes, no, say so
You say you will and then you won’t
You say you’ll rule and then you don’t
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
First you say you do, and then you don’t
And then you say you will, and then you won’t
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna dooby dooby do do?
You promised to decide a year ago
And after this delay, you still don’t know
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do do?
You’ve been sitting on the fence
And it doesnt make much sense
‘Cause you keep us in suspense without a ruling
Your job is to decide
But you’re letting this one ride
Our complaint is justified and you know it (make up your mind!)
If you know the facts and if you find
The precedent is there, make up your mind
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
You hem and you haw you hem and you haw you hem and you haw you hem and you
First you say you do, and then you don’t (no you don’t)
And then you say you will, and then you won’t (no you won’t)
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
Well, what’s it gonna be?
You promised to decide a year ago (year ago)
And after this delay, you still don't know (don’tcha know)
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do do?
Yes, no, say so
You hem and you haw, you hem and you haw, you hem and you haw, you hem and you haw, you hem and you haw, you hem and you haw, and you hem and you haw
You’re so indecisive!
If you know the facts and if you find
The precedent is there, make up your mind
You’re indecisive now
So what are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
You say it’s yes, and then it’s no
You say you will, and then you won’t
You’re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?
Do-wah, yes, no, say so, hem haw do-wah do-wah
Just one of the hilarious songs on
Cartoon: Law and Disorder
by Paul Brennan
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Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.
Lawpsided Reason #2 to Love Layoffs: Bringing Your Family Together
by Sean Carter
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Continuing on our theme of the upside of the downsize, let's take a look at how your layoff is going to bring your family together in ways you hadn't thought imaginable.
Let's face it. If you were the typical big firm lawyer, you weren't able to spend as much time with your children as you would have liked. In fact, you might not even be able to name them all on sight (this might be true even if you have just one child). You probably just call for them by using generic nicknames like "Pumpkin," "Handsome," "Whatyoumacallit," "WhoseYourFace" or "Hey you, the short one!"
Well, that's going to change. You're going to become very close to your children, both literally and figuratively. For one, you will no longer have to search your 6,000 sq. ft. home for them, wondering which of the seven bedrooms they might be playing in. It's going to be a snap finding them in your new studio apartment. They'll be the little obstacles that you trip over in the middle of the night on your way to shared bathroom down the hall.
Financial austerity will bring your family closer in other ways. When you were employed, you drove the kids to school each morning while conducting business on the phone. You'd then slow to a roll and fling them out of the vehicle as you burned rubber out of the parking lot and raced to work. You likely repeated the same process in the evening, occasionally picking up the wrong child (no big deal, their parents probably didn't even realize that they were gone).
Well, all of that is going to change. You will actually be able to talk to your children on the ride to and from school. And there won't be any need to rush. You'll be able to drive at a leisurely pace; at least, until the bank takes back the car. And even then, you'll have plenty of time to walk the kids to school. The walk will not only build up their little bodies, but allow them to complain to their children that, when they were kids, they had to walk to school . . . six miles . . . uphill . . . both ways. Up until now, you've deprived them of this kind of tale of childhood woe. Bad parent! Bad parent!
Your parenting is also going to go to the next level when you began volunteering as the middle school soccer coach, drama club stage manager, afternoon school crossing guard or lunch lady. Before long, your kids will feel that they can't get enough of you. "Mom, you are, like, soooo embarrassing me. When you pick me up from school tomorrow, can you pretend that you are kidnapping me or at least, take off the hair net?" However, despite their current protests, you should continue your volunteer efforts knowing that: (1) you are going to be building memories that they will cherish in the years to come; and (2) if you work hard, you might get hired full-time as the lunch lady.
Finally, you will be able to spend time with your children at the end of the day. No longer will you tuck them into bed by phone. "Daddy loves you, Julie! Your name isn't Julie? Is this 456-3227? It's 3277? Uggh! Well, good night, whoever you are!" Instead, you'll help them with their homework. "Okay, Toby. Today, we're going to work on a creative writing assignment—Daddy's resume." And after a light dinner (very light), you'll get them ready for bed. As you lean beside their bed at the end of a long day, you'll look your child in the eye and say, "Always remember that Daddy loves you. And also remember that, if Mommy asks, Daddy only had two beers since you got home from school."
All kidding aside, this could be a time to really bond with your kids like you've always dreamed of doing. In a few months, you might find yourself asking, "Why did I spend so many years slaving away as a law firm associate?" Or you may think, "Why didn't I go to business school instead of law school?" I guess it all depends on how well the lunch lady gig turns out.
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