Play "Find the Fool" to Win A Prize of Your Choice
Since humor is so important to us here at The Billable Hour Company, April Fool's Day is one of our favorite holidays! We decided to share the joy with a new game we call "Find the Fool."
How to Play
A picture of the April Fool is hidden in plain sight on one of the pages of our website. Browse through our site until you find the Fool.
Underneath the Fool's picture is a special coupon code. If you make a purchase (of any amount) and enter the coupon code at Step 2 of checkout, you'll automatically be entered to win any single item of your choice from our store (sorry, no sets). PLUS, everyone who enters the contest by making a purchase will receive a free gift along with their order. (To find out what the free gift is, enter the coupon code at Step 2 of checkout, then click the "update" button. The free gift will appear at the top of the page, along with the rest of your shopping cart items.)
If you want to enter the Find the Fool drawing without placing an order, simply click on the "Enter Drawing Only" link under the picture of the Fool. You'll be taken to an entry form, where you can tell us your name, e-mail address and the location of the Fool.
What does the Fool Look Like?
Other Important Information
Find the Fool will run from March 29 through April 30. The winner will be announced in the May issue of The Timesheet.
Engaged Worker or Soulless Creature: What Exactly Does "Rich" Mean? by Julie Fleming Brown
I’ve recommended Worthwhile magazine in the past and was surprised when it seemed to disappear. And then recently I was reading a new magazine called Motto and discovered that Motto is the new Worthwhile. As explained here, a trademark challenge prompted the name change.
Motto’s, well, motto continues to be "purpose, passion and profit." I recently reread an ABA article arguing that an unscientific survey showed that 84.2% of law firm associates would accept lower pay in exchange for lower billable hour requirements. (Interesting, the article was dated February 2, right around the time of the associate pay hike.) With that in mind, I was taken by Kevin Salwen’s editor’s letter in the March/April issue of Motto. A few excerpts:
Not long ago, a study about happiness showed how poorly people predict what will bring them joy. The research focused on individual’s behaviors: When they felt unhappy, they would buy themselves a Porsche. That would bring a short-term jolt of pleasure, followed by another feeling of emptiness.
* * *
There is a parallel in our jobs. Early in our lives, we buy into the cult, we are all about our careers. . . And because we feel we must, we work more than we sleep, exercise, reflect or spend time with family or friends . . . combined. We become truly unhealthy beings—uni-dimensional, soulless.
What I like about this excerpt is that it implicitly recognizes that working to the point of unhealth occurs only when it happens "because we feel we must." I’ve struggled with the condescension heaped on those who enjoy their work and enjoy it to a point that others consider it excessive. This is the hot worm phenomenon that Stephanie West Allen describes describes. Some lawyers love their work and are drawn to it. Perhaps it’s contiguous with their lives so that it’s hard to see where "work" ends and "life" starts—maybe it’s all the same.
That said, I think it’s common that work is just that—work. Not particularly rewarding or satisfying, but required with increasingly burdensome hours. And that’s when workers become soulless, when lawyers wonder why they made the mistake of going to law school.
And I recently ran across another quote lately that may cast some light on all this: "There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich." So said Marlene Dietrich. I completely agree, and I’d suggest that those who work harder-harder-harder to earn more-more-more are likely "only" to amass a great deal of money, whereas those who love what they’re doing and do it for love (even while enjoying the financial benefits that kind of work may bring) are indeed rich.
Julie Fleming Brown provides professional and personal coaching for lawyers on topics such as client and professional development, job searches, career transitions, and work/life balance. She is also certified to provide the DISC® assessment. Please visit http://www.LifeAtTheBar.com/ for more information and to arrange a complimentary coaching exploration session.
Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.
Humor: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but Strife
by Sean Carter
Of all the aspersions cast against lawyers, perhaps the most cruel and unfair criticism is that we are dishonest. The truth of the matter is that lawyers abide by a code of conduct that reflects an Old Testament-like distaste for bearing false witness; only with more severe consequences. After all, unlike the state bar, the Lord won’t embarrass you by publishing your name in the bar journal before smiting you.
In all seriousness, our bar rules constantly prohibit misleading statements of fact or law. Rule 3.3 of the ABA Model Rules requires candor towards the tribunal. In fact, not only are we prohibited from misleading the court, but we have an affirmative duty to direct the court’s attention to precedent, even if it is in direct opposition to the position of our client. "Your Honor, before you rule in our favor, I just want to point out that every judge in the English-speaking world has ruled against our position, even Judge Reinhold."
Rule 7.1 of the ABA Model Rules prohibits misleading statements concerning a lawyer’s services. In other words, in marketing our services, we must actually be truthful. Could you imagine the marketers of, say, beer being held to a similar standard? A beer commercial without misleading promises of male bonding and sexual escapades with beautiful woman would be about as effective as border security; only without the consolation of getting the inside and outside of your house painted for $50.
In fact, perhaps the most impressive commitment to lawyer honesty is embodied in Rule 4.1 of the ABA Model Rules, which prohibits knowingly making any misstatement of fact or law in the course of representing a client. In other words, while being lawyers, we must tell the truth. Can you imagine a used-car salesman, stockbroker or Vice President Chief of Staff living up to the same standard of conduct? Me neither!
To our credit, most of us live up to this extraordinary standard of conduct in our practices. But sadly, many of us attempt to live up to this standard in our personal lives, and the results are predictably tragic. Honesty may be the best policy, but it sure is expensive; particularly in the context of marriage.
According to a recent study on lawyer marriages, half of all of our marriages end in failure and the other half end in divorce. Seriously, we have among the highest rates of divorce and I suspect that our unswerving honesty might be the culprit. The truth of the matter is that a successful marriage requires misstatements of facts. "No, baby, you are much prettier than your sister." "No, honey, I don’t mind that you’re going bald. I’m into long foreheads!" "I’m so glad your mother is coming to visit again, and so soon after her last visit, too!"
In some cases, a successful marriage requires misstatements of law. "Baby, you might want to put your bags down. The President has suspended the community property laws of this state while we fight the War on Terror."
This key to marital bliss has become increasingly clear to me during the last eight months, as my wife has been pregnant with our fourth son. Repeatedly, I have found that a well-placed misstatement of fact has been the difference between "until death do us part" and "until my death does she party."
For instance, a few months ago, my petite and beautiful wife entered the stage of the pregnancy where she began to eat as if she was in a contest; one in which she was intent on winning. In fact, I briefly considered entering her into the annual hot dog eating contest on Coney Island, but I couldn’t charter a plane large enough to hold the volume of food required to tide her over on the five-hour flight to New York. Now, I’m exaggerating, but only slightly.
One day, in an apparent attempt to collect early on my life insurance policy, she asked the following question: "You don’t think I’m eating too much, do you?"
In this case, a truthful answer would have gone something like this: "You? Eating too much? No way! You’re eating just the right amount for, say, a wildebeest—a very hungry wildebeest. Besides, baby, you’re supposed to eat for two . . . hundred. Another slice of cheesecake, dear?"
Needless to say, this is not the answer I gave. Instead, I opted for misstatement (and the avoidance of cranial surgery). "You? Eating too much? I don’t think you’re eating enough. Another rack of lamb, sweetheart?"
I similarly fudged (more like triple-chocolate fudged) the truth when my wife inquired, and I’m not making this up, whether her butt was getting big. I was tempted to respond with: "Getting? Baby, we are well past getting. If your butt gets any bigger, we’re going to need to use walkie-talkies to communicate in bed. ‘Could you set the alarm for 7:30? Over!’" Instead, I had to reassure her that her butt was just the right size, and to prove it, I spent the rest of the day commenting on how J-Lo’s butt was too tiny.
In June, my wife and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary . . . to each other . . .and I truly believe that our marital bliss is attributable to less-than-total candor (and the fact that she doesn’t read my column). Therefore, I encourage you to meet your obligation of truthfulness in the practice of law. However, in this context, I discourage you from taking your work home with you; at least, if you’d like to have a home to continue going home to.
Sean Carter, Humorist at Law, is a syndicated columnist and popular speaker who presents Comedic Legal Education programs for law firms, in-house legal departments and bar associations across the country. Sean is also the author of If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit? Your Humorous Guide to the Law.
Video: Now that's What We Call Studying for the Bar!
Juris Comic
Song of the Month: Court TV
by the Bar & Grill Singers
Menendez and Dahmer and the Unabomber
Kaczynski, Lewinsky and the British Nanny
Lorena, John Bobbitt...OJ’s trial was on it
Judge Ito
Someday I wanna be in a case on Court TV
My friends will envy me and my celebrity
Letters from my fans, the media eating from my hand
I’ll retire on my fees from the book deals and the
talk show scene when I’m on Court TV
CHORUS:
Menendez and Dahmer and the Unabomber
Ted Kaczynski, Lewinsky and the British Nanny
Lorena, John Bobbitt...OJ’s trial was on it
That’s why I’m saying after Court TV
I’ll never have to work again you’ll see
That’s where I wanna be...is on Court TV
(I will be on MSNBC)
People will pay me to speak at banquets for a fee
I’ll appear every night on shows like 20/20
Newsweek and Time will feature my whole life
Newspapers will say that I’m a Top 10 Lawyer
and worth the price when I’m on Court TV
CHORUS
(I’ll do my thing tonight on Larry King)
Everybody knows a place where washed up
lawyers go
Now they all have there own prime time TV
legal shows...they’re all on Court TV
CHORUS
Poeticus Lex: Abandon All Hope
by Fred C. Russcol, Esq.
I wished to compose an appropriate ode
About the Internal Revenue Code
But any such rhyme never would seem completed
If expletives that would apply are deleted.
Just pondering the I.R.C.
Brings on great weakness in the knee,
It starts the strongest hand to shake,
Cold sweat to pour and head to ache;
And reading it brings so much pain
It seems designed to stun the brain.
To see how terms may be defined,
I search until I'm nearly blind
Yet meanings that I need to see
Are buried in obscurity,
Hidden deep within and sealed,
Like an onion to be peeled;
As with an onion, when I pry
I feel a sudden urge to cry.
Maybe to English the Code is akin,
But likeness is only as deep as the skin;
Familiar though most of the words may appear,
Their meaning's elusive, their import's unclear,
The phrases are always so firmly opaque
That Stygian darkness is spread in their wake.
With muddled confusion it's richly bestowed-
That's why they decided to call it a "Code"!
Even an Einstein would get quite distraught
On viewing the Code that our Congress has wrought,
Designed so that every last citizen may
Contribute each dollar that happens his way
As into the federal budget it goes
To pay to the folks who write such taxing prose.
Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in White Plains, New York. This poem was originally printed in the Westchester Bar Journal and is reprinted with the permission of the Westchester County Bar Association.
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Take a close look!The dials of our watches and clocks are marked in tenths of an hour—the same way many lawyers, paralegals and law clerks bill for their time.
