- Dan Klau's Billable Hour Blues New at the Billable Hour Music Store
- Feature Article: Target Fixation
- Cartoon: Stu's Views
- Humor: And the Johnnie Goes to . . .
- The More the Merrier: CD Sets Are a Smart Buy
- How Law Schools Fail Their Students
- Cartoon: Juris Comic
- Humor: The Business of Being Negative
- Song of the Month: That's Litigation!
- Poeticus Lex: Lawyer's Lament (A Work of Fiction)
- Daily Legal Toon
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Dan Klau's Billable Hour Blues New at the Billable Hour Music Store
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Our Music Store got off to a great start last month, with CDs by the Bar & Grill Singers and Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury. We're pleased to announce that singer/songwriter/pianist Dan Klau is the newest addition to the Billable Hour Music Store.
It only took Dan fourteen years of private practice—and thirteen of therapy (just kidding!)—to figure out that the best way to deal with the Sturm and Drang of the law was to find the humor in it. So that’s what he did. In his debut CD, The Billable Hour Blues, a collection of original songs and musical parodies, Dan sings about the trials and tribulations of being a young associate, lawyers who couldn’t give a client a straight answer if their lives depended on it, the joy of bringing someone to the brink of tears during cross-examination, and more. Whether you are looking for belly laughs, or just a few gentle chuckles to brighten your day, The Billable Hour Blues is sure to please.
The Billable Hour Blues includes:
The Billable Hour Blues
That's Litigation
(sample)
Bush v. Gore
Light of Day
Easy to Sue
It Depends
Have a Subpoena, Lena
(sample)
The Blues, the Whole Blues, and Nothing But the Blues
The Associate Song
(sample)
State v. Courchesne
Norm Pattis
The Billable Hour Music Store is at www.TheBillableHour.com/music.php.
Target Fixation
by Julie Fleming Brown
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In World War II, fighter pilots spoke of the danger of target fixation. During bombing runs, pilots could become so focused on their targets that they’d dive, drop a bomb on the target, and yet remain so intent on hitting the target that they’d fail to pull up in time. They’d end up hitting their target and killing themselves. Although they would have achieved their mission, they wouldn’t survive to fly the next one or even to celebrate their accomplishment.
What does this have to do with practice?
Imagine a lawyer—let’s call her Mary—who is so focused on making partner that everything else recedes. She spends the hours between 7 AM and 7:30 PM in the office on weekdays and at least 6 hours a day there on weekends. When she isn’t at work, she’s either working at home or thinking about work. When she meets someone, she immediately thinks about how they might fit into her goal, whether as a potential client, referral source, or otherwise. Perhaps she’s married, perhaps she has children, and if so, her family is important to her and yet they’re accustomed to her missing dinner or school plays and being busy for "just a few more minutes" when she’s home. Mary doesn’t go out to lunch unless there’s a reason, and she feels that exercise is just a waste of time that she could use for work or for marketing. Her office looks like a tornado hit it, but she doesn’t stop to clean up until she starts to lose things on her desk. She’s generally known as a nice person, but when she gets stressed, she’s liable to snap at her colleagues and the support staff—and she gets stressed rather often. Vacations are important to her, but all too often she feels that she’s just moved her work from the office to a spot off-site.
And then, Mary makes partner. Though she may fantasize about cutting back, chances are good that she won’t. After all, her hard work put her ahead of the pack, and letting up now would knock her off her game.
And then, something happens. Maybe a parent gets sick, maybe a child, or maybe it’s Mary. Maybe something goes wrong at the office, or perhaps she just stops one day and thinks wistfully about her life Before, when she used to enjoy talking long walks through the neighborhood at dawn to get her heart pumping. Perhaps she wonders what happened, when she quit spending time on non-work things.
Mary is a victim of target fixation.
None of us can function well as a single-dimension individual. We need input on the intellectual level, but we also need to pay attention to our emotions, our body, and our spirit. Although it’s possible to neglect those domains, their weakness will eventually bleed over and reduce the effectiveness of the intellectual output, simply because there’s nothing to sustain it. Another word for target fixation is burnout, the moment when we experience having poured an unsustainable amount of energy into one area of life to the detriment of other areas. It’s crash-and-burn success.
Work/life balance prevents burnout by nourishing all areas of life, though perhaps not in equal proportions. Some people really love their work and would feel lost if required to cut back and others feel pushed to work so much that important areas of their lives are neglected. Of course, what’s tricky is that the extreme lawyer may feel restless if he "only" works 60 hours in a week, whereas the more traditionally "balanced" lawyer may start to get antsy and worn out if she sees no choice but to work 60 hours.
Bottom line: define your own balance between work and life, or recognize that your work is your life and work/life describes a continuous, integral whole. Whatever you decide, though, be on the lookout for target fixation—and pull up well before you crash.
Julie Fleming Brown provides professional and personal coaching for lawyers on topics such as client and professional development, job searches, career transitions, and work/life balance. She is also certified to provide the DISC® assessment. Please visit http://www.LifeAtTheBar.com/ for more information and to arrange a complimentary coaching exploration session.
©Stu Rees. All rights reserved.
Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.
And the Johnnie Goes to . . .
by Sean Carter
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Every February, millions of Americans tune in to watch my least favorite awards show—the Oscars. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like viewing Halle Berry in an evening gown as much as the next guy. Actually, considering that I’ve been married to the same woman for 14 years, 8 months, 16 days and 7 hours (but who’s counting?), I must confess that I like watching Ms. Berry probably more than the next guy.
What bothers me about the Oscars is that the purpose of the show is to recognize the "outstanding achievements" of an industry that, this year, financed and produced such classics as Rocky VI and Jackass 2. As I see it, recognizing the cinematic genius of those in Hollywood is like recognizing the estate planning genius of Anna Nicole Smith’s legal team.
However, I’m most disturbed by the fact that the legal profession has no equivalent awards ceremony. Surely, if the members of the "prestigious" screen actors guild can take the time off from rehab to honor their peers throughout the entire first two months of the year, we can have at least one Oscar-style event to honor the contributions of the vanguards of the justice system. After all, without us, who would defend the thousands of people wrongly accused of crimes, the millions of people sued each year in civil actions, and the tens of millions of men currently claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby?
Seriously, our profession does a woeful job of recognizing its own. Perhaps, that explains the high rate of lawyer dissatisfaction. For instance, as a speaker at legal events, I regularly receive more praise and appreciation after a one-hour speech than I did for the entire ten years I practiced law. After a talk, I’m often asked to sign autographs. On countless occasions, people have asked to take pictures with me. And on four occasions (not that I’m counting), I’ve received indecent proposals from particularly appreciative female members of the audience.
Now, perhaps it had something to do with my mediocre performance as a lawyer, but in ten years of practice, I never once had anyone ask me to autograph a purchase agreement for them. Likewise, I never had anyone say, "You were so good in that negotiation. Can I take a picture with you?" And not once did anyone ever say, "You were so sexy in that closing. Will you sleep with me?" Of course, given the fact that most of my colleagues were balding, middle-aged men, that is probably a good thing. However, it would have been nice to have been asked . . . at least once.
And while I’m certainly not suggesting that we turn our law firms into discos ("Great brief! Your place or mine?"), I am suggesting that we show each other more appreciation; if only for one night each year. After all, even pimps hold an annual Players Ball where they honor their best and brightest. Now, I know it’s a lot to ask that we have as much self-respect as pimps, but why can’t we have our own annual awards event in which we get dressed up and hand out awards to each other?
That’s why I’m proposing that we hold our own Justice Awards next February. We can hold it at the Supreme Court Building in Washington, D.C. I can just see it now. We would all arrive in chauffeur-driven Toyota Camrys. The evening’s nominees would walk down the red carpet in their three-piece charcoal gray suits and knee-length skirts and business jackets. All the while their young associates would scream from behind the barricades: "Do you still need the Thompson brief done in the morning?" "Can I have Christmas off?"
Needless to say, I would emcee the event and kick off the festivities with a lively monologue containing awkward jokes about people in attendance and desperate pleas to buy my book (which, by the way, is on sale again this week on Amazon.com). Then we could get down to handing out the "Johnnies" (named for the late Johnnie Cochran) to deserving nominees in such categories as "Best Defense of a Guilty Celebrity," "Most Appearances on Larry King," and "Most Convincing Toupee." Oh, what a night!
And while you may think my suggestion for a Justice Awards event is ridiculous, it is no more ridiculous than the fact that I regularly receive more praise and appreciation for an hour of telling jokes than most lawyers ever receive for a lifetime of contribution to our legal system. As I see it, if anyone is going to be receiving standing ovations, autograph requests, and indecent proposals from inebriated fans, it should be you and not me. After all, I am happily married. Even more importantly, I reside in a community property state. Need I say anything more?
Sean Carter, Humorist at Law, is a syndicated columnist and popular speaker who presents Comedic Legal Education programs for law firms, in-house legal departments and bar associations across the country. Sean is also the author of If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit? Your Humorous Guide to the Law.
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The More the Merrier: CD Sets Are a Smart Buy
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Can't decide which of our hilarious CDs to buy? Why not try one of our new CD sets? When you buy any of these four great sets, you get 10% off the price of the CDs if purchased separately:
The Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury 2 CD Set includes Wingtips Optional and 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul—30 songs in all.
Not enough songs for you? We have two 3 CD sets.
The Bar & Grill Singers 3 CD Set includes Licensed to Grill, A Time to Grill and Grilling Me Softly—a total of 40 songs.
The Billable Hour 3 CD Set includes one CD from each of our artists that features a song about our favorite subject: the billable hour. This set includes Grilling Me Softly by the Bar & Grill Singers (featuring the Cyndi Lauper-inspired I'm Billing Time); 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury (featuring the Dylan-esque Every Minute Must Get Billed; and The Billable Hour Blues by Dan Klau (featuring—what else?—The Billable Hour Blues). You'll love all 39 songs in this set!
The mother of all legal humor CD sets is our Whole Shebang 6 CD Set. This set includes all of the CDs we carry—Licensed to Grill, A Time to Grill and Grilling Me Softly by the Bar & Grill Singers; Wingtips Optional and 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury; and The Billable Hour Blues by Dan Klau. You'll laugh till you're red in the face as you listen to the 81 songs in this set.
You can find all of these sets in the Billable Hour Music Store
How Law Schools Fail Their Students
by Mark Solomon
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Ann Althouse’s Op-Ed column in the February 20, 2007 New York Times, "'A Skull Full of Mush'" (if you're a Times Select member, use this link to view the whole article) provides a springboard for serious debate about the relationship between law school, the art of law, and the profession of law. My sense is that it is the rare law student who becomes frustrated that the law school curriculum tends to squelch personal expression. Most of us enter law school with the idea that we will learn new skills of oral and written advocacy, new ideas about what the law can and cannot do for our clients and society as a whole, and its practical application in "real world" situations.
Every mature artist understands that the road to true self expression is paved with mastery of the venerable traditions of the art—the law is no exception. I would argue that self expression in the law lies with the individual attorney’s own practice, whether found in a particular field or specialty, a creative interpretation and novel application of legal precedents, or a unique style of courtroom advocacy.
The real source of discontent among law students, I’m afraid, is the utter failure of law schools to educate our future attorneys in the profession. Law schools do a wonderful job of laying the foundations of a practice with core courses in constitutional law, contracts, torts, criminal law and the like. Some schools have valuable trial advocacy programs, clinics, and local practice courses. But law schools leave their graduates literally and figuratively without a roof over their heads. That is the source of the law students’ sense of disconnect with the real world.
My connection to the real world is through my clients. Law school didn’t teach me how to get clients, how to market my services to the public I was trained to serve. How do I open a law office, what supplies and resources do I need in my office, what should my office look like to appeal to my clients and my need for a comfortable workspace? Do I need malpractice insurance, how much, where do I get it and what should it cost to buy? What business records should I be keeping? How do I balance my books?
Considering the draconian penalties that are routinely imposed upon lawyers who inadvertently make even the smallest mistake in their escrow account, it is incomprehensible to me that at least one semester of the required curriculum of every law school isn’t devoted to law office accounting. Marketing and management courses are equally essential to a complete legal education.
Years ago I had dinner with my former torts professor, and proposed this program to him. He dismissed the idea, saying: "we’re not running a trade school." If law schools continue to adhere to this ivory tower mentality, they will continue to cheat their students, who did, in fact, come to learn the profession of the law, not some impractical academic abstraction.
The Business of Being Negative
by Robert Pladek
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We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic, and positive equals unrealistic.
~Susan Jeffers
Civility and the lack thereof are in the news again.
On Feb. 22 the media was all over the opening salvos of the Barack Obama (BO) Hollywood following sniping at the Clinton Corporation (CC) and its own film stars, BO David Geffen reminding us that the senior CC member and first CC president had/has a few personal ethical issues. Would-be second CC President Hilary Clinton, appearing with her one-time shill George Stephanopoulos, admonished the BO camp, bemoaning what will surely be the mildest example of negative campaigning to come.
Twenty months from election day, it is important to begin lowering public expectations of civility, lest the National Enquire-ish content of the final few weeks truly disgust us all. Nobody enjoys the voting booth decision on which candidate is (a) the most personally revolting/unethical/back-stabbing, or (b) has been the subject of the most personally revolting/unethical/back-stabbing. Especially since we tend to believe most or all that crap about them.
That negative campaigning is so uniformly decried but methodically employed by the very same people tells much about its effectiveness. Candidates distance themselves from it while demanding it go on unabated.
The study of negativity is fascinating, though some of the fun stuff gets lost when social scientists start buzz-wording. Any time you close your office door, are one of two heads moving closer together in a cafeteria, forward the same old joke or laugh while watching television—any and all television —you are participating in the culture of negativism. Paul S. Martin’s buzzy but insightful "Inside the Black Box of Negative Campaign Effects: Three Reasons Why Negative Campaigns Mobilize Political Psychology," Journal of Communication 56 (2006) 27-51, notes the following:
Research in experimental social psychology has consistently found that negative information has a stronger impact than positive information on how people process information, from initial attention to information to its subsequent recall.
Plus . . .
There is overwhelming evidence both in the research reviewed above and in the present study that negative information attracts attention, whether automatically or consciously. Attention, however, does not necessarily lead to persuasion . . . the average negative campaign may not work as intended, that is, to lower the target candidate’s evaluations. Among voters who are politically sophisticated and strongly committed to the candidate, it might strengthen the evaluation of the candidate who is the target of a negative campaign.
And finally, this:
The results of our study do not rule out the possibility that political campaigns suffer from too much negativity with detrimental long-term consequences for the political system.
That last one isn’t especially relevant to my limited diatribe, but it was phrased so, scientifically, with just that touch of future horror, that I had to include it.
In addition to the ever-burgeoning profession of negative-advertisers and their country cousins, anti-negative-advertisement spinners, a whole industry of "Civility Experts" have grown along with them, teaching the business and professional communities lessons they’ve forgotten from childhood. That such a trade can flourish is a sad testament to human interaction in general, but, I suppose, a positive and apparently necessary development. Thankfully we have the capitalist mentality to so react.
Civility Associates, Bremer Communications, Eticon, The Civility Company and The Civility Group are just a few participants. A great way to judge the potential growth of a new business is to check with Network Solutions, Inc. on domain name speculation. They show the following as "taken":
civility101.com
civilityassociates.com
civilitybowling.com
civilityburns.com
civility-by-george.com
civilitybymail.com
civility-center.com
civilitycenter.com
civilitycenter.org
civility.com
civility-consultants.com
civilitydesign.com
civilityforum.com
civilityguides.com
civilityidiversityimanners.net
civility.info
civility-institute.com
civilityinstitute.org
civilityinthestreets.com
civilitymatters.com
civility.net
civilitynetworks.com
civilitynetworks.net
civilityoftheyear.com
civilityonline.com
civilityonthestreets.com
civility.orgcivilityoutbreak.com
civilitypoll.com
civilitypress.com
civilityproject.com
civilityproject.org
civilityrules.com
civilityspa.com
civilitystudio.com
civilitystyle.com
civilityunleashed.com
civilitywithoutborders.com
civilitywithoutborders.net
civilityworks.com
I have no idea how many of these are active. But some folks believe there’s a fair chance they all will be.
The criticality of civil relations in confrontational situations is almost wholeheartedly conceptually embraced by business and professional leaders, with even disobedience recommended as "civil." We have civil procedure, civil litigation, civil disturbances, even civil wars. (Don’t all reach for your keyboards to remind me that here the word is used in a different adjective sense.) We have the civil division of court, civil rights, civil engineering and the civil service. We of the civilized world use the word a lot. But talking isn’t walking.
Bob Pladek is the normally civil Special Sections Editor for New Jersey Lawyer. This article is reprinted with their permission, which wasn’t overly begrudgingly given. Bob’s views, thankfully, are entirely his own. Send a nice note to him at Robert.pladek@njlnews.com
Song of the Month: That's Litigation!
by Dan Klau
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(To the tune of "That’s Entertainment")
(Original music and lyrics by Arthur Schwartz and Howard Dietz)
(sample)
Available on The Billable Hour Blues
The perp, who’s the client from hell.
But who cares, ‘cause his money is swell.
While he does time, you’ll write your own "kiss and tell."
That’s litigation!
The judge, who can’t make up his mind,
The eyewitness, who turns out to be blind,
The hung jury, can’t get out of its bind.
That’s litigation!
The man on the stand who just lies through his teeth.
The judge wearing robes but nothing underneath.
What will the jury bequeath?
By the time the trial’s over, you’ll be pushing up clover.
The case, that just won’t go away.
It’s been yours, for ten years everyday.
Will it end? Not if the client will pay.
The court is a stage, lawsuits are the rage.
That’s litigation!
Poeticus Lex: Lawyer's Lament (A Work of Fiction)
by Fred C. Russcol, Esq.
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My clients all are pure of heart,
My motions are like works of art,
My claims are strong in law and fact,
My research cannot be attacked;
So how can judges go astray
And decide a case the other way?
In retrospect, I should have shrunk
From uttering the phrase "slam dunk"
(George Tenet used it, and now to our shock-
We’re between a hard place and Iraq!)
It may perhaps have increased my
Client’s hopes a bit too high.
My motivation could not have been purer
But I should alert my malpractice insurer.
Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in White Plains, New York. This poem was originally printed in the Westchester Bar Journal and is reprinted with the permission of the Westchester County Bar Association.
