Feature Article: Be Generous to Yourself
by Barbara Nelson
Last January, Kevin Houchin posted a great column here. He recommended adding two words to your planning goals, to make them more powerful: "at least." Kevin's example was "monthly revenue has increased at least 10% in 2011." What I love about that is that if you short your goals, perhaps unconsciously, because you're afraid of failing to meet them—you still have a built-in incentive to reach for more. Nice. Do that again this year.
As if that weren’t enough great advice for a January column, I'll build on Kevin’s "at least" by giving you "until now" to work with in 2012. Easier to show than tell you how it works, so try these on:
"I can’t meet a deadline if it's just one that I've set for myself" becomes "until now, I couldn't meet a deadline that I set for myself."
"I feel like a sleazy salescritter when I ask people if they might know someone to refer to me" becomes "until now, I couldn’t ask people for referrals without feeling sleazy."
We’re talking about negative self-talk. It's called negative because it isn't good for you, doesn't serve you well. Nearly 100% of those black and white statements aren't true, either. Your lizard brain is hijacking your rational brain. When you catch yourself making statements that don't serve you well, try adding "until now" to the phrase. First, you'll shift the energy immediately. You will feel more positive. Second, you'll be better positioned to make it true, ready to address the issue and take action. Had a problem with deadlines? What do you need to change? Shy about asking for referrals? What could you say that does feel comfortable? Who can you say it to?
Be generous to yourself.
Everyone should keep a mental wastepaper basket and the older he grows the more things he will consign to it—torn up to irrecoverable tatters. ~Samuel Butler
Leave anything you'd like in the past by adding "until now" and taking steps to make it true. If you read much from me, you'll know that I'm a huge fan of new starts. I declare them every possible occasion. January is the mother of all new starts; make the most of it. Give yourself a happy new year. Try "until now" and choose to consign negative self-talk to your mental wastepaper basket, starting today.
Best wishes and high expectations for all of our best years ever.
Barbara Nelson is a business coach who helps lawyers take action to get what they want at the same time they learn to enjoy the journey. She blogs at http://www.SuccessfullySolo.com/blog. You can reach her at barbara@successfullysolo.com.
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Cartoon: Courtoons
by David Mills
Courtoons are the creation of David Mills, an Ohio appellate lawyer who works with litigants and law firms involved in civil and criminal cases in federal courts across the country. Visit David's law firm website at www.MillsFederalAppeals.com
Video of the Month: Speaking Legalese - 2010 NYU Law Revue
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Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.
Song of the Month: The Longest Time
by The Bar & Grill Singers
If these lawyers talk another day
We the jury will make sure they pay
What else can we do
We’re trapped inside this courtroom
This trial has lasted for the longest time
Whoa, for the longest time (2x)
Once I thought this trial was nearly done
Then they put their depositions on
That’s when they lost me
With their expert testimony
I haven’t listened for the longest time
They said this won’t last very long
It’s been two weeks
My job could be gone
Maybe I’ve been hoping too hard
‘Cause we’ve come this far
And it’s only half over
We get six whole dollars every day
That is less than what McDonald’s pays
I want my life back
Maybe even see my wife
But I know that won’t happen for the longest time
Who knows how much longer we’ll go
The judge said one week
But I don’t think so
This must be what hell is like I know
And there I’d rather go
And it’s one thing I’ll trade for
I don’t care who loses or who wins
I just want this misery to end
And then it’s our turn
To torture lawyers when we’ll
Be deliberating for the longest time
Whoa, for the longest time (3x)
Just one of the hilarious songs on
Cartoon: Law and Disorder
by Paul Brennan
Cartoon: Jonny Hawkins Collection
by Jonny Hawkins
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Take a close look!The dials of our watches and clocks are marked in tenths of an hour—the same way many lawyers, paralegals and law clerks bill for their time.
